"The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green.The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.The young man says, "I don't know about you, father, but in my church, when we pray, we keep our head down."Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man.The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?" Yes" says the woman."Did you hit him with that golf club?" Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face."How many times did you hit him?" I don't know -- put me down for a five."A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through.Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.As he approached the gates of Heaven,St. Peter asked, "Are you a good. I needed to find work, so I asked him if he knew of any places where a master mechanic could find work. He gave me a name which I was able to check out a day or so later. Based on his lead, I was lucky and landed a job with a custom car dealer named Josh Fields. I felt that my luck was changing when I found out that he bought and sold luxury cars, detailed them and put them in tip-top shape and then sold them for a nice profit. Most he got from Europe or Asia as used cars, saving a bunch of money on import taxes, and then sold them to US buyers. He made a lot of money at that business and as soon as he found I was more than just a simple mechanic, he began to use me more and more. Based on my work, he paid a decent enough salary to keep me happy. I was able to make him even more money since I knew the best way to accomplish his goals. We got on great and I soon found myself enjoying my work. That first month, I took my check, cashed it and kept a third of it. I took the remaining.
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